Tailored, Fed, and Well-Read

I’m finally getting out of the house today for a little while.  The first stop is a small place called Alterations by Jo Ann, where I will be getting several shirts and perhaps a few jackets tailored to fit me like a glove.  I have never had anything tailored besides a suit or tuxedo, so you can understand if I might feel a little metro.  Nonetheless, I plan to look undeniably awesome upon wearing the tailored shirts, and feel even more awesome as I go into today’s next endeavor, reading Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot.  This is a book I have wanted to read for months, and I am looking forward to it with such boyish delight as if a Batman-themed birthday cake has just been set in front of me, candles blazing in the formation of a giant number seven.

Among the other books that are on the short list: Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead, Christopher Hitchens’ God Is Not Great, Kenneth Miller’s Finding Darwin’s God (which is a Christian’s undeniable case for evolution against ridiculous creationist claims, sure to be a great read) and then onto Nietzsche’s On The Genealogy of Morals (<sarcasm> That is, if a particular person thinks I will be EDUCATED enough AS HE IS to understand Nietzsche. </sarcasm>)  Also on the conveyor belt are Richard Dawkins’ The Blind Watchmaker and Unweaving the Rainbow, Charles Darwin’s The Origin of Species, and perhaps Francis Collins’ The Language of God if Miller’s book fails to satisfy.

Damn.  Where am I going to find time to read everything?  Oh, that’s right.  I’m busy with my “shit show” of a life and have plenty of time left to sit ungratefully at home while the rest of the world crashes down around me.  I must’ve forgotten!  Sweet deal.

And there’s also Quizno’s today, right now.  Goodbye.